


shape of you

by BabaTunji



Category: Black Panther (2018), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cousin Incest, De-aged Erik Killmonger, King Killmonger, M/M, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-29
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:14:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26714305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BabaTunji/pseuds/BabaTunji
Summary: Erik is de-aged by an alien he encounters. This causes some issues.
Relationships: Erik Killmonger/T'Challa
Comments: 7
Kudos: 39





	shape of you

**Author's Note:**

> Wrote this on a whim and very happy with what came out. Posting for the birthday. I have a deep fondness for little!Erik and caregiver!T'Challa. Eventually I'll write more for it. For now this is just an exploration.

#

It happens during an excursion. N'Jadaka had been accompanying a small explorer detachment on a routine assignment on their moon colony when they made contact with an unknown life force. Considering Wakanda's recent forages into space exploration it's not that surprising, Earth has been on the map since Thanos. What is surprising is that the creature gives N'Jadaka something.

When N'Jadaka retells the story to T'Challa hours later on a conference call he waves it off as a weird astral projection. But T'Challa still worries and once N'Jadaka arrives back in Wakanda, he has the king examined from head to toe. The tests don't detect anything different or strange besides the herb's interference and T'Challa breathes a sigh of relief. That night when they're laying in bed, N'Jadaka brings up the topic of kids and T'Challa dodges it like he usually does. 

"I'm not in a hurry, after all that trouble with Namor, we both need a break. What is the rush?" T'Challa isn't against the idea of having kids necessarily he's just not ready—yet.

"Namor was three years ago, we're fine now." N'Jadaka emphasizes the 'three.' It's more accurately 2.8 years ago but T'Challa doesn't correct him. They've been married for a little over four years and the timing makes sense, for children. They're now the same age of 42 thanks to the snap where T'Challa lost 5 years. Wakandans lived long lives, and 42 is firmly middle aged. It was a good time to have a children, a normal time even for the Wakandans who decided to do more than be an aunt, uncle or secondary caretaker to others children.

"If you don't want to, that's ok." N'Jadaka tells him awhile into his silence. T'Challa doesn't miss the slightly hurt quality of his voice and responds immediately. 

"No! N'Jadaka I do. Off course I do. I'm just—" 

"Just...?" N'Jadaka prompts him to continue, brows furrowing in an obvious attempt to be patient. 

"I don't feel ready." T'Challa says, trying not to lean away from his husband. As far as excuses went this was a weak one. 

"Why? A kid is a big responsibility yes but T'Challa you've dealt with bigger stuff for years it's not... It's not that different is it? It's not like we'll be alone either. We have your mom and sister and... everyone to help." 

N'Jadaka trails off before he says, 'everyone.' T'Challa thinks his mind probably went to W'Kabi but he didn't say. T'Challa and W'Kabi aren't close, perhaps they never were. But ever since N'Jadaka's arrival to Wakanda and particularly in the two years before the snap, W'Kabi and N'Jadaka have been like brothers. W'Kabi and Okoye now had four children, N'Jadaka played the part of a very proud and very involved uncle. If N'Jadaka had children, W'Kabi would most certainly be involved.

"I know that, but I can't help how I feel. How we are now, I like it. Having a child will change that." This is what really bothers T'Challa. He feels like they've finally found their feet. After their initial terrible clash, after 2 years of what felt like the verge of civil war in Wakanda, then the snap and all the turmoil following? Why couldn't they just enjoy this peace a little longer? Why did it have to be used to bring forth children and more headaches? 

N'Jadaka sighs and T'Challa eyes the ceiling, trying to avoid looking at his husband directly. 

"Would you be ok with never having kids?" N'Jadaka doesn't sound upset just curious.

T'Challa examines himself and the situation. He didn't want to upset N'Jadaka, or lie. "I think, for the sake of everything we've built, we should have children. I know you would be a good father—" 

"Answer my question T'Challa." N'Jadaka interrupts his meandering and T'Challa swallows, his throat suddenly very dry.

"Yes." He looks N'Jadaka in the eye when he answers. N'Jadaka doesn't say anything in response, he doesn't look surprised either. T'Challa's heartbeat picks up and he thinks he should say more. Maybe even retract his honest answer into something more palatable. Then, N'Jadaka nods, and turns over in the bed. T'Challa opens his mouth and closes it. He hadn't said he didn't want children, just that it wouldn't bother him to never have them. N'Jadaka had to know what he meant, right? N'Jadaka doesn't say anything else and T'Challa decides to keep quiet. He sinks into uneasy sleep eventually.

#

T'Challa wakes up alone in bed. He stretches and yawns. His mind pleasantly warm from sleep and focused on nothing in particular when he realizes something is off. He had reached out for N'Jadaka in his sleep haze upon waking and met air and bed sheets so he assumed his husband was already up. Yet when he leans into his heightened senses he can hear soft breathing, not like N'Jadaka's and coming from the space next to him. 

Closer inspection reveals a young body laying where N'Jadaka should be. They could be anywhere from 8 to 15, T'Challa can't tell. N'Jadaka probably could have but N'Jadaka isn't here. This—pre-teen? Child is here. They've wrapped themselves tight with the blanket so only their face and hands are vidible. How had they gotten here? More importantly how had they gotten past Dora Milaje and *N'Jadaka.* All of T'Challa's sleep haze is gone now and he nudges the child awake. If this was some sort of prank it isn't funny. The strange child blinks awake, eyes settling on T'Challa in an oddly familiar manner and then they bite out, "What...?" The voice is young but not pre-pubescent and rough in a manner that indicated puberty was wreaking it's usual havoc. 

For the first time T'Challa considers the impossible and prays to be wrong, "...N'Jadaka?"

The child scowls back and the eery familiarity intensifies, "Leave me alone." 

T'Challa can't breathe. "N'Jadaka something is wrong." He can barely get the words out, confusion and fear running through him.

The child—*N'Jadaka* grumbles and unwraps the blanket, then falters. T'Challa waits, watching the scene as if it were a very very odd dream. 

"What the fuck?" N'Jadaka says this once he gets a good look at himself, under the blanket.

T'Challa's mind recoils at the familiarity of the voice and the tone despite the strangeness of its sound. This was definitely his cousin, his husband and he looked like an eight year old.

#

N'Jadaka is twelve. As in the body he was currently in, is twelve. T'Challa spends the morning in his sister's labs while different doctors and scientists run test after test. They've seen cases similar to this with meta humans and the odd shape shifter. But N'Jadaka isn't a meta human, nor is he a shape shifter. Mercifully he seems to have all his memories in tact, certainly *acts* like his usual self even in his younger body. There's also the heart-shaped herb still in his bloodstream. Yet his body has somehow regressed to that of a twelve year old going through puberty. 

"How long will this last? I can't work like this." N'Jadaka sounds exasperated, and a bit cranky. T'Challa remembers then that neither of them have eaten today, swept up in the emergency of the situation. 

"We're not sure. Your body seems to be stable and according to our tests you really are the age your body appears to be now. Your brain chemistry is the same with an adult however. Until we can find what caused this change..." The doctor speaking to N'Jadaka trails off, eyes going from N'Jadaka's angry expression to T'Challa's calmer facade. 

"If this is some sort of strong magic perhaps we could consult some outside opinions?" Wakanda had contacts with a few magical experts, two of which owed T'Challa favors.

The doctor nods, "If magic is involved, that would probably be best. Based on what the king has told us, it may also be related to the being he interacted with on his last space exploration."

"It gave me something, but it didn't actually touch me or anything. If that thing did something to me why didn't we notice anything wrong before?" N'Jadaka's tone is filled with frustration. 

"We didn't know what we're dealing with. We still don't. I'm sure if we keep testing—" The doctor defends their lack of progress.

"I'm supposed to be in Egypt tommorow! I can't go like this. This has to be fixed soon or... Or—" 

N'Jadaka is obviously losing his temper and if he were in his adult form it would be more scary. In this twelve year old body, T'Challa just feels sorry for him. 

"I think it's time for lunch." He dismisses the poor doctor with a look and nods to the nearest Dora to dismiss the rest and make arrangements for lunch if they haven't already. Today would be a long day and while T'Challa could go for long periods without eating, N'Jadaka in his current state probably couldn't. 

"I'm not hungry." N'Jadaka sounds sullen, his expression is still angry. 

"*I'm* hungry. Neither of us have eaten today." Around them the room empties and T'Challa finds a table to sit, pushing aside the papers. 

"I can eat later. I want this fixed now." 

"It will take twenty minutes to eat something and then you can go back to harassing our doctors." T'Challa chides N'Jadaka gently. He doubts he would be level-minded were he in N'Jadaka's shoes but rudeness wouldn't fix the situation any faster. N'Jadaka glares understanding the reprimand but doesn't fight any more. Together they wait for lunch to be delivered. 

Once lunch arrives, N'Jadaka descends on it with gusto. T'Challa doesn't say anything to tease or comment and the two eat in silence. 

#

Two days pass with numerous tests and several consultations. They conclude N'Jadaka's current state is not permanent and that the source of the change isn't magic. Just something that acted like magic to their untrained eyes. In this 'de-aged' state N'Jadaka didn't grow, his body chemistry and hormones in a state of 'stasis' as confirmed by several tests. This sort of paused state isn't natural and the reigning theory seemed to be once whatever fueling the stasis ran out of fuel, N'Jadaka should return to his proper body, but for now all they could do was wait and run more tests.

N'Jadaka is naturally not happy with the answers. They don't know how long he'll be in this child state. A week is too long let alone several. He had his duties and other responsibilities he would not be able to fulfill if he looked 12. His mind still being that of a 42 year old man gives everyone hope but it's still a very inconvenient situation.

The first two night after N'Jadaka's transformation they spend it in the labs. T'Challa hovering as they run tests and tried different things or lightly sleeping in a chair in the early mornings when N'Jadaka finally fell asleep. After that with no changes, N'Jadaka is released and T'Challa faces an awkward dilemma. For all that N'Jadaka is still himself and not a child in mind, he's very much a child in body and T'Challa didn't want to share the same bed. 

So he stalls for time in the evening, busying himself and updating all their close friends on the matter. Naturally his immediate family and the Dora Milaje already know but a few others didn't do he explains the current oddity and deals with their reactions. When he checks the time it's late, almost midnight and he feels it's safe for him to head to another bedroom in the king's wing and sleep. He assumes N'Jadaka is either asleep or researching his current condition. 

He is not expecting for N'Jadaka to come find him. He's stepping out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around his waist when N'Jadaka enters the suite. 

"Why are you using this bathroom, ours is free. Come on, I want to sleep." With that said, N'Jadaka waits impatiently by the door. Presumably for T'Challa to follow. T'Challa doesn't move.

"I wanted to sleep here tonight. You can have the bedroom to yourself." 

"Why?" N'Jadaka sounds confused, irritated even.

"Why what?" T'Challa pretends ignorance.

"We always sleep together. What's the problem?" It's almost a whine, and it hits home just like N'Jadaka intended. Even when T'Challa was angry or N'Jadaka was angry they shared the same bed. T'Challa wasn't angry or otherwise upset with N'Jadaka so why would he go elsewhere?

"I'm not comfortable with that right now. You don't look like you N'Jadaka." T'Challa stumbles over the last part. It wasn't like he expected anything to happen.

"What? You feel like you're cheating or something?" Now N'Jadaka is the one pretending to be obtuse.

"No. N'Jadaka you're a child. Of course I don't—"

"I'm not gonna try anything. I don't even think I can get it up..." N'Jadaka interjects and T'Challa just stares. Disgust and embarrassment clear on his face. He wants the ground to swallow him and wishes N'Jadaka would be less blunt and take a fucking hint.

"It's not about that. I know you're not a child but you look like one and it makes me feel strange."

"Strange how?" N'Jadaka shows no sign of leaving, and T'Challa casts a longing glance to his clothes on the bed. He's not getting dressed till N'Jadaka leaves. 

"Everything about this is strange. Don't worry about me, go and get some rest okay? A few days apart won't be that bad." If this transformation lasted longer than a few days then he would figure something else out. 

He knows he's said the wrong thing because N'Jadaka's face melts into outrage. "A few days?! T'Challa what the fuck? I'm not gonna do anything, just come to bed so I can go to sleep."

T'Challa's voice doesn't rise in volume but when he speaks there's an edge. "I'm sleeping here tonight, N'Jadaka. You should go." 

His husband's expression crumples and T'Challa's resolve almost breaks. He's avoided thinking about some of the worse ramifications of their current situation till now hoping it would fade quickly and things would return back to normal. But now he wonders what of it didn't? T'Challa and N'Jadaka were still *married,* N'Jadaka is still king. Would they all just have to accept this new normal?

"No." N'Jadaka bites out the word and marches to the bed, ignoring T'Challa to burrow under the sheets. T'Challa isn't surprised and even starts to feel a bit guilty. This had to be terrible for N'Jadaka being changed physically like this. T'Challa acting distant would only hurt more. He walks over to the bed and picks up his clothes, ignoring N'Jadaka's presence for now to walk back into the bathroom. He gets dressed quickly indecisive on whether to give in or not. 

For him it made perfect sense to sleep elsewhere for a few days while they waited for the transformation to fade. But if it took longer than a few days, what then? Would he be distant from N'Jadaka that entire time? Could he even do that? Their lives revolved around each other, as did their work. When he steps out of the bathroom, dressed for sleep now, N'Jadaka is still there. A lumpy shape on the bed, dark eyes following T'Challa's every move.

T'Challa gets into the bed. Maintaining the distance of a body's length between them. 

#

The transformation doesn't fade after the 3rd night or the 4th or the 5th. They keep consulting different authorities and trying different things but the new state sticks, leaving them all to adjust. Every night after that T'Challa stays in the other room and each night, N'Jadaka comes to find him. In the day they go about their respective duties or try to in N'Jadaka's case but the situation has T'Challa handling more and N'Jadaka less. 

He notices after the third time it happens that N'Jadaka wouldn't eat unless he was told to, and he would become very cranky when he didn't. His voice cracked when he was angry and he was angry a lot these days, finally despite having the mind and brain of an adult. The memories and skills of one certainly, N'Jadaka liked to be babied. 

It's not obvious at first, not something T'Challa would have picked up either if it didn't keep happening. N'Jadaka seemed to have honed in one the fact that everyone was struggling to take him seriously in his current child form. His reaction is to be more mature and less emotional. Yet with T'Challa he doesn't bother with maturity, becoming more emotional and confrontational if he didn't get his way. First it was the bed issue, a matter which T'Challa loses the fight on by day 5. 

Then there are other things. He and N'Jadaka were never big on public displays of affection and T'Challa liked it like that. Now N'Jadaka insists on hugs, light touches or simple handholding when they're in private and even sometimes when they're in public. T'Challa does it to avoid a fight or a drawn out argument. They were married, N'Jadaka isn't a child, he could do these things if they made N'Jadaka feel better and reassured during this upheaval. 

The biggest contrast is perhaps N'Jadaka's reaction to him 'micro-managing.' In the past if he interrupted a conference meeting N'Jadaka was having to tell him to eat, or pass him fruit his husband would throw a fit. Now, N'Jadaka doesn't blink at the action, more shocking he listens. 

T'Challa does these things because he cares and because he cares he worries. N'Jadaka wouldn't let something like being de-aged slow him down and he continues his duties as king, as well as overseeing his outside projects. Even if now everyone and T'Challa wouldn't let him leave the country. The knowledge of his transformation isn't quite secret but they don't advertise it either. Waiting and praying and trying different remedies with the hope it would fade. 

One week turns to two and then three. T'Challa can't say he's getting used to this new normal but he can say they're adjusting. Naturally that's when N'Jadaka makes his move. 

With the new body acting as deterrent T'Challa has been carefully minding himself. Morning wood happened a lot less now than it did when he was younger but it still happens. If things were normal and T'Challa woke up with morning wood he would simply roll over and let N'Jadaka deal with it. That's not happening now and he resigns himself to making do with his hand in the bathroom. 

"You're too loud, T'Challa." N'Jadaka's voice, sleepy and amused filters over and T'Challa freezes. He hadn't been doing anything, but there's a bit of embarrassment anyway. 

"Good morning." T'Challa greets N'Jadaka and sits up carefully. Covering himself strategically. 

"Are you gonna jerk off?" N'Jadaka ignores his greeting and T'Challa almost flinches. 

"No." He tenses up ready to put distance between them if necessary. 

"You're hard, I can smell it." N'Jadaka confides and T'Challa wrinkles his nose in obvious distaste.

"I'm going to use the bathroom." He stands up quickly.

"You should let me watch." N'Jadaka says the words so nonchalant. T'Challa pretends not to hear him, making a beeline for the ensuite bathroom. When he enters he locks the door behind him. 

#

After that N'Jadaka gets more demanding in private. He knows better than to ask for anything sexual, T'Challa is just too uncomfortable with it. But he can demand other things. Long hugs and more attention, sitting in T'Challa's lap while he read reports, on one occasion he even has T'Challa feed him. It's just fruit, something T'Challa has done before when N'Jadaka was feeling lazy. But it all carries a different connotation now. 

N'Jadaka isn't a child. N'Jadaka wants T'Challa's affection and attention. He is not above behaving childishly to get it. knowing that T'Challa is sensitive to his new appearance and more likely to give in and coddle him. It should be annoying, and irritating and one more thing about the current state of things T'Challa should hate. Yet strangely it's okay. It's easier to show affection when N'Jadaka is in this form, easier to pamper him and tease him. And as long as things remain chaste, kisses stay on the cheek and N'Jadaka minds his hands—T'Challa can be warm and sweet the way N'Jadaka so obviously likes.

There is a limit however. N'Jadaka is always pushing and T'Challa doesn't like how his act of resisting has turned into a different sort of game. Fortunately for his sanity, one month and 3 days after N'Jadaka changed forms, his adult body returns. 

#

No one is more happier than T'Challa to have N'Jadaka, in all his adult glory back. He gives a special prayer to Bast for returning his husband to him and stands by while more tests are run, blood samples are taken and everyone involved reassures themselves things were really back to normal. That evening W'Kabi and some others steal N'Jadaka away for drinks and T'Challa breathes a sigh of relief. To say that he's been sexually frustrated (mostly because of N'Jadaka and his inability to let sleeping dogs lie) is an understatement. Still he's not overeager to jump right back into things again, a part of him worries N'Jadaka's body could still revert and then all this celebration would be for nothing.

He lays awake an hour after midnight waiting for N'Jadaka to return. The more time passes the more he relaxes, eyes drooping in sleep. It feels like he blinks and then he's being jostled gently by another body on the bed. He fights the urge to open his eyes feigning sleep. Rough fingertips trace up his side and N'Jadaka murmurs, "Already asleep? That's disappointing. I thought you would be waiting for me." 

His breath smells like alcohol and the scent of flavored smoke wafts from his body. N'Jadaka presses up against his back, half clothed still and very 'interested.' T'Challa continues to feign sleep. He hasn't yet forgiven N'Jadaka for being so difficult these last few weeks. After some quiet moments N'Jadaka sighs and pulls away. When he returns back to the bed, he doesn't touch T'Challa at all. 

#


End file.
